Wednesday, April 24, 2013

'Home' again



After 10 days at home with my parents I am back in my Adelaide ‘home’.  It really feels less like home every time I come back from the country.
Like so often, after I return from visiting my folks, I am in a funk.  Those who know me well will know that I have over the past 10 years battled on and off with depression and while I am, right now, close to the healthiest, mentally, that I have been in 10 years, I still find that the hardest times are when I have to leave my family. {I live 6 hrs away from my parents and now that I am working every day I find I can only get across to visit during the school holidays.}

It reminds me that I am just not ready or strong enough.

For what...?

For living out of home, for being on my own, for being an adult, for losing either of my parents, for being off medication, for being married {LORD help the poor man who has to deal with me in this state}, for being on my own.

Then I remember I don’t have to be strong. On my BEST day I will NEVER be strong enough.  But that is ok because I have a loving God who is with me when I am feeling good and when I fall apart.

When I have good days I remember that Jesus is walking with me.  He promised he would never leave me and I believe that promise. If he is walking with me on my good days I know that on my bad days he will most certainly never leave me.
He is my rock; he is my tower, my fortress, my refuge.  He is the strength that I do not have.  He carries me through the darkness and into the light.

http://jtbarts.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/footprints_in_the_sand-1024x886.jpg

Psalm 46
God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”
11 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Father, may I always remember this and praise you. Amen

with much love,

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