Because He Loves Me {Week 4}

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" Romans 8:1

This past week I went on a date.  It is the first time I have been on a date in years and I was a mess.  I decided just a couple of hours before the date that it was too nerve wracking and I wasn't going to go through it.
You may very well ask what this has to do with this chapter.  For me...everything.
I was very concerned about whether my date would approve of me.  Would I say the right things, act in the right way?  Would he judge me by my appearance?  What if I didn't like him?  Would that make me a bad person, would I be judging him too soon?
You can see why I was ready to cancel!  Just writing it all down makes me want to never go on a first date ever again!!
After reading this chapter one thing Elyse Fitzpatrick wrote struck such a chord with me:

"I am frequently more concerned about whether I approve of myself than the fact that He approves of me"

Why do I place such pressure on myself, such a judgement on myself.  I long to look at myself and see myself achieving, to feel good about the things that I can do and do well!  I know that when I long for this, when I focus only on the outcome, I am forgetting that regardless of the outcome I have the approval, the pardon, the perfect record of the most important one.

When I feel like I am not loved, I need to look to Him and see that I am in the Son and in Him I am loved.  When I feel guilty about what I have done, the sins that I have committed and the neglect, I need to look to Him and see the perfect record, the clean slate.

I know I am not perfect, I know that there will be people in this world who will judge me for that, that will expect more from me.  I will expect more from me from time to time and I know I will condemn myself when I don't live up to that expectation.  

...BUT...  

If I come to Him, relying on Him, recognising my place in Him and serving Him, I will find rest, love and peace.  Peace from the evil one who whispers self doubt and guilt into my ear, peace from the world who condemns and peace from my own deserved condemnation.

His love came to us when we were still sinners, it will not leave us now that we have been saved to join his household.  I will find my peace in His love.

with much love,

Because He Loves Me [Week3]

What a chapter!
Where do I start?

I struggle with living as a Christian on a daily (hourly, minutely, secondly) basis.  I get caught up in the frustrations of the world, I am swayed by the opinions of others and seek out approval and affirmation from them.

This quote rang so true to me:
"Our problem is that if we don’t continually remind ourselves of how he has chosen, renamed, and remade us, the struggle to grow in Christian character will become nothing more than another attempt at self-improvement, and self-improvement always results in self-loathing or pride.” 
I must acknowledge that when I make these judgements on myself and tell myself how well I have done or (more likely) criticize myself for once again failing to meet the high standards that I set, I am really failing to remember that Christ is my identity, God has chosen me and given me the name of Christ.
Oh that brings me to the next point.  I HAVE CHIRST'S NAME!!!  How amazing is that!  It is something that I never really thought about before but I have taken the name of the wonderful man that saved my life.  I have His identity.
Amazing.

I read/heard something recently and I can't remember where (If you know please let me know so I can reference them properly) that said:
"The Gospel says come as you are but the Gospel means you won't stay as you are"
I thought that was wonderful and helpful when thinking about my identity this week.  I came to Christ as I was, as I still am and God designed me and created me, He chose me while I am sinful, while I fail, while I am imperfect and He gave me the identity of the perfect One.  This is what allows me to grow and change.  As Elise says we will grow into our perfect Christ-like identity.

This week, acknowledging that I have taken the identity of Christ and that I don't have to pretend or try to be something I am not has been a wonderful reminder.  Just this weekend at a party as I left early yet again (for many reasons) I wished, for a moment, that I could be the person that everyone wanted me to be.  I wanted to be the life of the party, or even the person that enjoyed drinking and staying out late, that enjoyed chatting to new people and flirting.  Then a moment later I wished that my friends would accept that I am not that person and wouldn't pressure me to have that identity (although I know that actually they don't, they really do love me for who I am with all my flaws and quirks, the pressure is entirely in my head, most of the time).  The next day as I was at Church I realised how relaxed I was, how I didnt have to pretend while I am there.  At church I am the real me, flawed, sinful, Christ-loving, quiet, and social all at the same time, but me.  I want to be that all the time, I want to remember the identity I have when I am pressured by the world to have a different identity, when I am mistreated and feel like I 'deserve respect', when the frustrations and criticisms of the world cause me to make rash decisions and thoughts.


I must remember my life is about who gave me all the great gifts of my life that allow me to make the choices I do - God.  My attention should be on Him and I should be working for His glory not my own.  My pride is my downfall as is my 'hedonistic self-recrimination'.  In these I am not acknowledging that all I do is for Christ and that in God's eyes I have Christ's perfect and righteous identity.

Once again I see how perfectly patient God is with me.  I pray I will be as patient with myself and others as He is.  That I may remember who I am and act with the acknowledgement that I have been given Christ's name and identity by God and everything I do is for His glory.

Read along with us:

With much love...

Rest

This week I have come to the realisation that I am far too stretched for time.  So much so that on Sunday as I returned to Church after finishing teaching the children and heading home for lunch, I was so exhausted that I nearly broke down in Church and was barely able to listen to the sermon on Ecclesiastes.  The sermon, which should have buoyed me as I struggled with the uselessness of this world and looked forward to the coming New World, sent me into a despair over my life.

I know that I am prone to ‘melancholy’ as the old books term it and I have been very good at looking after myself in order to keep myself in a good frame of mind.  However, when I am exhausted and start to feel that I am in a bad place, nothing can stop those thoughts that tell me it is all too hard.  I really feel some of those lines in Ecclesiastes and struggle to find/notice the wonderful words of hope, God has given the writer, for us to read.

In the conversations with a couple of wonderful, wise, godly women I began to recognise that the reason why I was feeling so down was that I was so tired.  I had been out every night that week, caring for children, bible studies and church, helping people move, catching up with friends and being social, all wonderful things individually. However after more than 10 nights out in a row I was completely exhausted.

The Bible tells us that on the 7^th day God rested, He tells us that Mary made the better choice in sitting and spending time with Jesus rather than working to serve.  Exodus tells us we must work for six days and rest on the seventh.  Yet still I think that somehow I have to work and I deny myself that rest.  I always continue to believe that it is wrong or selfish to indulge in myself.  And I continue to believe that if I am not being constructive, working in some way that I am indulging myself.

It is my goal to readjust my outlook.  I have asked God, as I ask you, to help me, to keep me accountable, to ask me how busy my week is, to encourage me to say no.  I know that I must begin to take time out to let my body recoup and recharge so that I can continue to serve others the way I love.  I cannot serve others if I am sick or depressed.

Have you ever struggled with this concept of rest versus work or serving others?