Rest

This week I have come to the realisation that I am far too stretched for time.  So much so that on Sunday as I returned to Church after finishing teaching the children and heading home for lunch, I was so exhausted that I nearly broke down in Church and was barely able to listen to the sermon on Ecclesiastes.  The sermon, which should have buoyed me as I struggled with the uselessness of this world and looked forward to the coming New World, sent me into a despair over my life.

I know that I am prone to ‘melancholy’ as the old books term it and I have been very good at looking after myself in order to keep myself in a good frame of mind.  However, when I am exhausted and start to feel that I am in a bad place, nothing can stop those thoughts that tell me it is all too hard.  I really feel some of those lines in Ecclesiastes and struggle to find/notice the wonderful words of hope, God has given the writer, for us to read.

In the conversations with a couple of wonderful, wise, godly women I began to recognise that the reason why I was feeling so down was that I was so tired.  I had been out every night that week, caring for children, bible studies and church, helping people move, catching up with friends and being social, all wonderful things individually. However after more than 10 nights out in a row I was completely exhausted.

The Bible tells us that on the 7^th day God rested, He tells us that Mary made the better choice in sitting and spending time with Jesus rather than working to serve.  Exodus tells us we must work for six days and rest on the seventh.  Yet still I think that somehow I have to work and I deny myself that rest.  I always continue to believe that it is wrong or selfish to indulge in myself.  And I continue to believe that if I am not being constructive, working in some way that I am indulging myself.

It is my goal to readjust my outlook.  I have asked God, as I ask you, to help me, to keep me accountable, to ask me how busy my week is, to encourage me to say no.  I know that I must begin to take time out to let my body recoup and recharge so that I can continue to serve others the way I love.  I cannot serve others if I am sick or depressed.

Have you ever struggled with this concept of rest versus work or serving others?